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Qantas: please deliver my luggage!

Update: the Qantas lady immediately credited me $100 (Australian) which will at least keep me in shirts, socks, and undies.  I felt she was on my side and listening. They aren’t really sure what plane the bag will be on and we had a talk about my plans for Thursday that I hope was very, very hypothetical. (Visions of my suitcase, one step behind me for 16 days…) She even sounded genuinely glad to get my temporary “mobile.”

If I give my first talk in my jeans, just remember: Equinox really does take care of me… I just am having trouble finding clothes my size at the last minute. (Our lovely hosts checked in with me today and asked what they could do, and I said “If it gets down to the wire, if you have a sewing machine…”)

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I’m in very deep “WTF” territory at the moment. I called Qantas baggage services at Sydney only to find my suitcase, sitting at LAX, didn’t make it on the plane to Sydney last night.

Reasons given?

1. Too much weight on the plane.

2. Priority goes to passengers on the flight and their luggage.

3. It’s actually Delta’s fault because they mishandled the bag Sunday night at LAX.

It was clear from the conversation that I was supposed to not even notice that the Qantas rep said “Wednesday” and not “Tuesday.” “Whoa,” said I, in a sudden fluster. “That’s right,” the clerk said smoothly, “Wednesday…”

So let me get this right. If I showed up with two heavy suitcases for last night’s LAX-SYD flight (was that actually the only flight after 108 Sunday night?), would they make me leave one behind? I’m guessing the answer would be no–they’d take my money for extra baggage and check it. But they didn’t have room for one 34-pound suitcase? Who was on this flight — Sumo wrestlers?

Note also the act of omission. Even if it were all about weight on the plane, whatever happened to contacting the customer to let her know — the customer who carefully provided email, address, and hotel phone? “The national Pet Rock Society just checked in their bags, and we’re above weight, and we’re so sorry, and we’ll make it up to you somehow…”

Because they clearly knew yesterday that the bag didn’t make it, and they must also know hotel desks are staffed 24 hours.

I can be smarmed very easily. Even if they technically owe me more compensation, at that point I’m all about being notified and coddled — I am a very cheap date at that point. Not so when I have to call them to be told what they already know.

Admit it: the back offices at LAX are filled with Qantas personnel trying on my clothes, drinking my coffee, using my face lotion, and applying my Estee Lauder foundation, which I’ll have you know, did not come cheaply and without which I feel a bit naked.

As for finding clothes my size in this town, I think I shall wear hotel towels cunningly pinned in a toga-esque fashion, with my feet clad in herring boxes without topses. After all, if it worked for Clementine, it can work for me.  Unless, of course, I can get some compensation from Qantas which at this point I feel is quite reasonable to ask.

I would be on the phone with Qantas customer service (at this point, it will be about compensation)  but they don’t open until 9 a.m. The rep said I could send Qantas an email — but if they’re having trouble phoning their customers, I don’t think changing formats will improve matters.

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