I Almost Wish I Played Golf

Sure, make all the jokes you want. The couple times I held a golf club, I hurt myself. I never came close to hitting the ball. I really do not play golf.

That said, if you play golf or know someone who does, you might consider placing a purchase at golfoutletsusa.com. I don’t know this company, and I can only imagine what they sell… long sticks and small white round things. But when I suddenly received close to ten email messages indicating someone in Mississippi was using my email address to place orders over the Web–though thankfully not using anything else connected to me–a calm, sweet man at the other end of the phone reassured me that my credit card wasn’t being used, explained that thiefs often cobble together information from various sources, remarked on the general perfidy of mankind (though I think he put it, “Isn’t it terrible people do these things?”), and thanked me for alerting the company he works for, which was the only company that responded to my frantic phone calls and emails.

This has been a long, strange month. In a three-week span, my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer, operated on, and pronounced cured. Sandy had a biopsy that had us on our toes for three weeks, but it came back clear two days ago. I have received other life-changing news I’m still processing. And last night I finally completed my last essay for the semester. I am grateful, but I’m also exhausted. And I’m almost teary over the kindness of a nice person somewhere out there on the other end of a phone line who took a moment to reassure me and to listen.

I think I’m going to do the only things I can do today: wrap up my work–oh my goodness, I still need to mail some paperwork!–see if I can’t find a fresh turkey to brine for Christmas dinner, or barring that, two steaks the thickness of Let Us Now Praise Famous Men, and–what else to do the day before the day before Christmas?–see the dentist at 4 p.m. If he’s up for it, so am I. I’ve even been flossing.

Happy holidays, FRL readers; may whatever stars you follow be bright.