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The Book Project FAQ

Some of you have asked about my MFA book project. I’ll probably modify this post when I’m more mellow, but it has been a heckuva day not even including work, which was bone-breaking (car to shop; car dashboard finally fixed; ride to shop MIA; panic: class time; drove Sandy’s car in horrific rush-hour traffic; Sandy’s car out of gas… don’t get me started). So here is my book project, FAQ style.

What is your timetable for your book project?

I have to turn in a book-length project in August, 2006.

How long does it have to be?

Book-length.

Why are you writing a book of essays about military life?

I spent 8 formative years in the Air Force and wanted to use the lyric essay form to share the experience with others.

Doesn’t that make you a baby-killer?

Yes.

Aren’t you unhappy about being a baby-killer?

No.

How much does school cost?

I’m driving a 12-year-old car: questions?

Why are you doing this?

Why do pigs have wings? Wait–

I write, and I don’t have an MFA.

— applause —

Do you have a publisher (or agent)?

Absolutely. They’re out there, looking for nonfiction essayists. I expect to be on the cover of Vanity Fair pretty soon, and Oprah’s talking to me.

I don’t like Oprah.

Go to your room!

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