“Books won’t help you.”
I had been stammering through a discussion with a contractor about redoing our master bathroom.
My brain started stumbling at the first notes of disapproval in his voice. I could hear him take a breath before he spoke. “How am I supposed to git you a quote when you don’t even know what you want done?”
My throat dried. What an idiot I am, I thought. “Um… I haven’t ever had a bathroom redone,” I said. “We want the bathtub replaced with a shower, and we think we need new, what do you call it, sheetwall?”
“You need to tell me the details. Fixtures. Tiles. Cabinets. Then I’ll come take a look. It’s $200 for a visit.”
Oddly, this didn’t deter me, though by now it should be obvious he had written me off as a customer he didn’t need. Furthermore, we had one contractor lined up who we really liked, and without great enthusiasm I was doing the due-diligence get-a-second-quote thing. Yet I badly wanted his approval; I wanted to be the competent, knowledgeable homeowner for whose business he would vie.
I thought fast, or as fast as it gets when I’m feeling five years old. “I could go to Lowe’s and Home Depot and look around, and I could look in books for ideas!”
His voice, already deep, dropped an octave. “Books won’t help you,” he said. “You need to decide what you want.”
Then and there is where I crossed his name off my list of potential contractors. Maybe it was an innocent comment, but I just can’t work with someone who says out loud that books can’t help me. Maybe they can and maybe they can’t, and maybe I was stupid to call a contractor about redoing a bathroom when we were still so vague about the project.
But I had expected him to say, soothingly, “Sure, that’s a good idea. Go git you some of them Sunset books. You can buy them at Home Depot. Pick out some ideas you like. Then call me back and we can talk about it.”
I’ll stick with the contractor who drives around with the photo album of ideas and emailed me a picture of a recent job. I don’t know what she’d say about books, but I’m guessing it wouldn’t chill my blood.
Posted on this day, other years:
- Dude, what's the ROI? - 2006
- Google's New Library Newsletter Yields some Secret Sauce - 2005
- Blogging and Ethics, Part 4: Don't Stand So Close To Me - 2004
- Day Three of the Hostage Crisis - 2003
- Thunderbird - 2003
You did well to cross this contractor off. Every contractor I’ve ever talked to (a very small set, I must admit) in any home improvement field has had a portfolio of ideas, which also doubled as samples of work.
I feel your pain. In our 14 years of home ownership I’ve lost count of the number of contractors who 1) never showed up for a scheduled appointment 2) spoke condescendingly to us about what we wanted or told us that our job was too “little” for them to bother with 3) came back with a quote/plan that had little (if any) relation to what we told them we wanted. I sincerely hope your first contractor works out (and if she does, treat her well, for she is of a price beyond rubies!).
Thanks for the warm fuzzies… it helps. The first contractor came with great recommendations — we spent an evening of serious house envy in a home she had remodeled — and she will be treated with kid gloves (like the electricians we used last year, who were just fabulous).
I my wife would say he was suffering from PMS (Permanent Male Syndrome). The symptoms are;
1. not listening
2. being a know it all
3. failure to communicate
She lets me know every time I show any symptoms. It is one of the things that has helped our marriage last for 23 years.
Sheesh, what a ratbag. One wonders what he would make of someone who does know exactly what they want. Would he then try to talk them out of it?
Go with people who have photos and who take you round their previous work. And ideally, someone who’s done work for a friend of yours. But that is the creme de la creme – I only happened on someone like that after nearly 19 years of home ownership.
Happy refitting 🙂 aren’t good electricians the best thing! I have a husband who breaks light fittings when he changes globes.
You know, I’ve seen this sort of thing more often than I’d like in various open source communities. It’s not quite “RTFM”, but it’s along a similar line.
Have you read Tracy Kidder’s book _House_? Kidder tells the story of the design and construction of a house from the perspectives of the owners, architect, and contractors, with particular attention to the conflicts and tensions between parties. Seems apropos…
I don’t, but as I work on the writing-shed idea, it occurs to me this is good essay material. Kidder’s book, on the list. Thanks!
As a certified master kitchen & bath designeer, I must apologize for some in our industry. If you knew everything you wanted you wouldn’t need a contractor or designer. Over the years I have found that listening to the client and then taking their concepts and utilizing my experience and knowledge of products that are available, we end up with a project that meets the needs of the client. Working with a contractor that you are comfortable with is critical – they will become part of the family for a period of time. You were right to go with the contractor who listened and was willing spark your imagination.