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Opting out of Day Without a Gay

I’m sympathetic to the national “Day Without a Gay” campaign, but I felt too busy to take the day off. My company is supportive and open-minded, offered me domestic partner benefits (the first company or organization I’ve worked for that has), and includes my family in company events. It’s not their fault we all live in the United States.

Overall, I feel I’m better off in their face all day nagging them about things I need their attention on and demonstrating that gay people are Just Like Them (except, of course, smarter and more attractive) than calling in with the “gay flu.” I also try to encourage them to not patronize businesses with poor human-rights records, and I can’t do that if I’m not at work.

But I can take ten (sheesh, I’ve been up since 6 a.m., cranking out meeting minutes and drafting documents — surely I’ve earned a break) to make a few comments, some mildly grumpy.

If you want to do one thing for me, your favorite gay person (I am your favorite, right?), please view and share Prop 8: The Musical, starring Jack Black, John C. Reilly, and a host of other familiar faces. Jack Black as Jesus is not to be missed.

If you are “gay-friendly,” then don’t patronize businesses that aren’t, and don’t expect me not to call you on your behavior or at least give you the stink-eye. A company doesn’t need to rank 100 on the HRC Corporate Equality Index to be acceptable, but if you’re shopping at WalMart (rating: 40) or Toys r Us (65) or buying pizza from Domino’s (65), then you’re just being a lazy straight person and you need to clean up your act. (On the other hand, I’m now covered by Aetna, which has had 7 years at a 100 ranking!)

Also, shame on those who have been fear-mongering about gay mobs attacking the Church of Latter-Day Saints. It’s all right to be disgruntled against a church with a historically iffy relationship to marriage pouring money into a state campaign, and suggesting there may be Gay Violence is ludicrous.

Charlie Crist is getting “married” this weekend in St Petersburg. Prop 2 in Florida passed by a very slender margin. Crist embracing Prop 2 is also ludicrous (I mean… seriously…) but no doubt helped Floridians decide to affirm what they already secretly believe, which is that it’s fine for gay folk to pay taxes and contribute to the economy, just as long as they know their place. We may never know who poured money into Prop 2.

As long as I’m getting grouchy, Caitlin Flanagan made absolutely no sense in her op-ed in the Sunday New York Times. Her thesis was… what? Demonstrating on behalf of gay rights means the end of coalition-building and stands in the way of turning around the economy? Then again, wtf does Flanagan know about gay rights? Walk a mile in my shoes, girlfriend (if for no other reason than my size-5 slippers will make you whimper with pain).

Finally, to the long-term-disability agent who told me that she’d never had anyone ask her about domestic-partner coverage, guess what: I popped your cherry. Now the next time someone asks you that question you don’t have to look so surprised, and you can provide the information like the good little workerbee you are.

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