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My essay, “The Outlaw Bride,” published in Ninth Letter

Ninth Letter

Ninth Letter

The latest issue of Ninth Letter — a physically-gorgeous journal from the University of Illinois — includes my essay, “The Outlaw Bride,” about my marriage to my partner Sandy in 2004 and its aftermath after our marriage was invalidated by the state. It’s an essay about the meaning of marriage, and love, and stuff even bigger than that, and I hope you read it.

I remember thinking that with marriages being legalized in California, “The Outlaw Bride” would be an anachronism.  Remember the old days, when we couldn’t marry? Instead, as Californians head to the courts to fight the passage of Proposition 8, it’s very timely. I write about what it was like to have a wedding… and what it is like to be married. And after sixteen years, there is really nothing the state can do to unmarry us.

Happy Valentine’s Day, one and all. Remember that love makes us all outlaws one way or the other.

Posted on this day, other years:

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  1. Miriam B. wrote:

    yaay. just ordered it. even solitaries can believe in love, and in people being happy.

    Sunday, February 15, 2009 at 10:55 am | Permalink
  2. And people in love can believe in solitaries, as well!

    Sunday, February 15, 2009 at 5:55 pm | Permalink
  3. Karen wrote:

    I’m glad you like the magazine and I hope you enjoyed the layout of your story. I was the student designer responsible for your portion of this issue (forgive me for being a little creepy and googling your name… it just occurred to me recently that you might have a blog)

    It was a real pleasure designing for your story; I found myself talking about it a lot with friends and family (especially because of how unfortunately untimely it is…) I was having a conversation with my professor about it one day, and she mentioned it was probably the chapter that came up the most when talking about this issue of ninth.

    Anyway, I had a great time reading and working with your writing. Best of luck with your pursuits in the future =)

    Sunday, March 8, 2009 at 5:49 pm | Permalink
  4. I’m sorry I didn’t write about the layout because I have been chatting it up since I first saw it! It’s completely lovely and totally in keeping with the piece — if I had sent out invitations, they would have been on paper like that. The cake decorations were a good match . You can see them here:

    Note the actual-factual lavender dresses — you see I stick to the facts!

    Thank you for your kind comments about the essay, as well. I was so happy to have a home for “Outlaw Bride” in such a prestigious publication. I’ll keep my eye out for your work.

    And no, it’s not creepy to google me… or if it is, I’m creepy all the time. ;)

    Monday, March 9, 2009 at 9:42 am | Permalink
  5. David wrote:

    Happy (belated) anniversary!

    Monday, March 9, 2009 at 1:44 pm | Permalink
  6. Thanks! We’ve been not married for five years!

    Monday, March 9, 2009 at 10:01 pm | Permalink

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